My school kids think I am weird when I celebrate the news of divorce. Apparently, this kind of response isn't a common adult one and I still don't know why. Yes, divorce is disruptive and gross. Yes, kids are often put in the middle of things due to emotionally immature parents.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
But. But. But.
I am not sure if any of you have lived in a home without love or can imagine a home without love, but let me tell you, it isn't fun and it's impossible to hide. A lack of love between two people who are trying to live under one roof, keep bills paid while caring for humans is like a recipe for what I like to call I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. In many cases, it takes many courageous months and years to act on this feeling which becomes I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE.
Marriage is an alien-like challenge. And while some of us have accepted and even thrived taking on the challenge, it isn't for everyone. Stats would suggest 50% of marriages don't last so when you sign up for this alien-like challenge, you have a ~50/50 chance at this being a good bet.
I was the lucky benefactor of divorce. When my Dad left for good, it was horrible. I was 10 with 7- and 5-year-old sisters. But what ensued over many years was incredible. A happy Mom and a happy Dad.
Fast forward a few decades and I feel blessed to be the benefactor of so much blended and chaotic beauty. For the last many decades, I have had four bonus siblings on one side (Hello, Jill, Nate, Lisa & Tim) and four more bonus siblings on the other side (Hello Tricia, Jay, Derek and Rachel).
Yes, divorce is gross and complicated.
But it can often evolve into a new kind of beauty and love.
And happier parents.
Can I get an AMEN?