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16. My Hope Church

Since Eddie's death by suicide in 2014, I have felt an odd and relentless calling to talk and pray to people who have died by suicide. Eddie was one of my best friend's second of two brothers to end his life. Thank you, Eddie and Ronnie for this calling.

Since 2014, I have collected names of people who have died by suicide that have touched my life or that of a friend's life. My list has grown to 23.

My prayers to these beautiful souls may change in specificity, but my ask of them is always similar in theme.

Please give the hopeless hope. When we are out of hope -- having faith or feeling love are impossible. The rekindling of hope is the beginning of something. With hope, we can wake up. With hope, we can leave our homes and our rooms. With hope, we can go to school. With hope, we can show up.

I regularly laugh with this group of souls when I pray to them as I always sneak in a few personal intentions and am regularly sitting in a sauna or steam room not fully clothed. When I list off of all of their names and forget one, their name comes to my mind. It is like no one wants to be left out of the prayer session.

While I don't think I am an intercessor, I am confident that one day I will learn why I feel compelled to spend time with these souls and why they keep finding me. In the meantime, I am so happy to have their constant company.

A Prayer for the Hopeless

Please hold the hopeless tight.

Allow them to see a glimpse of light today.

Today, send them the smallest of signs that things are going to be okay.

Help them to visualize making it to this evening, a new dusk.

Help them to visualize making it to tomorrow, a new dawn.

Please hold the hopeless tight so they may feel the warmth of love.

Please hold the hopeless right so they may have faith that better times are ahead.


Walls should never be lonely, either! Typography art collection here.

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